Time-less!

• Get caught up in details and end up with unfinished tasks

• All my tasks get pushed to the last minute

• No time for myself because I’m constantly doing things for others

• Overloaded with work because I hesitate to ask for help / delegate

• Love taking up new projects but lose interest midway

Sounds familiar? Most often, issues revolving time management are concerned with our working style- a habitual way of doing things.

A simple yet powerful tool called ‘Drivers’ or 'Working Styles' (a concept used in Transactional Analysis) explains why we fail to implement time management techniques, though we know we should.

The five common drivers or working styles that Transactional Analysis talks of are:

1. Be Perfect

2. Try Hard

3. Hurry Up

4. Please People

5. Be Strong

These are easy to spot and typically play out as follows:

If I’m a ‘Be Perfect’ style, for me this piece of writing has to be perfectly crafted. I hesitate to even start typing out my thoughts because I worry they won’t live up to my standards. I go over it at every stage to check if the commas and full stops are in the right place and the words are appropriate. By now, this note is overdue by a whole two months…sigh! But wait, I’m also a completer-finisher, committed to details. So while I can be relied upon to ‘get things done’, I may have difficulty meeting deadlines.

When I’m a ‘Try Hard’, I enthusiastically start to write this blog (because yayy I’ve just had an epiphany!), I’ve taken up an assignment to design content for a client (come on, can’t possibly refuse something that will enrich my experience!), I’ve signed up for yoga (it’s about time I focused on my fitness. Also, I think I’ve had enough of that guitar class I started last month) and of course I’ve promised to take my daughter and her friends to the movies this weekend (I NEED to assuage that guilt). You get the drift? Lot of things excite me! But here I am, mouth full with more than I can chew (such is life!)

‘Hurry Up’? Moving on to it very quickly (uh-huh)… I’m furiously typing this blog on my phone while watching a movie, my report is due tomorrow (now I know could’ve comfortably spaced this over two months, but what the heck…nothing like working under pressure), I have guests for dinner this evening (damn...that reminds me, I have to pick up groceries on the way home!). Whoa, quite the multitasking ninja I am!

What’s a ‘Please People’ style? I have my day planned well and priorities listed. In the midst of finishing my report for tomorrow, I’m asked by a colleague if I could help her with a presentation. I want to say “no” but say “yes, of course!” instead (refusing to help means straining our relationship!). This means I compromise family time to work on my report later at night. And now, I’m now bashing myself for accepting that request. But hey I’ve made a friend for life and every one loves me!

When I’m in the ‘Be Strong’ mode, I’m cool as a cucumber. At least to the others. But inside, I’m coping with tremendous pressure. And guess what? I’m pretty darn good at it! I have two deadlines to meet this evening- my report and the article. I also have friends over for dinner. Despite the workload, I choose to make the meal myself instead of ordering in (because, how can I possibly be so lazy and uncaring!). I’m now completely exhausted, thinking WHY did I did I kill myself? (but shhh...letting anyone get a whiff of it would be sacrilege)

So which one are you?

Everyone displays these working styles. And most often, one or two of them stand out more than the others. They are a result of messages received when we were children.

And while our working styles could be very helpful, they can also sabotage our productivity, especially when we are stressed. Since they are a double edged sword, it’s important to be aware of when they are helping and when they are limiting.

Recognizing our style is the first useful step. But that may not be enough when we want to make drastic changes in the way we work and get the results we desire. Sometimes we even need to step out of our preferred style. Since drivers are internalized messages, they often program us to work in a certain manner- beneficial or not.

Working through driver behaviors is not just useful for time management but also has a significant impact on other areas like communication, relationships and creativity.

If this note resonated with you, great! Book an appointment by emailing me at gauri.raosharma@gmail.com and we could have our first exploratory session, to get started on the road to a more fulfilling life.